Slang Terms for a Lady's Private Bits Throughout History

I'll never look at a purse the same way

Thanks to Jonathon Green’s aptly named, Green’s Dictionary of Slang, we now know many historical slang terms for vaginas that we didn’t know before. Many of them we probably wish we could forget. The words used for our nether regions don’t always paint a pretty picture of those regions or the people who used the terms. Here are ten that stood out to me.

Purse

This one might be easy to understand. The lips open and close, like a purse, some man probably thought. We also keep essential things in our bags, like keys and money. It stands to reason that’s where we keep our babies, so we don’t lose them.

Petticoat Lane

Who wouldn’t want to stroll down petticoat lane as the sun starts to set? Where does that lane lead? Straight between the thighs of a pretty woman, of course. Or perhaps because layers of petticoats covered the path to the vagina, it would be like Baker’s Lane. Simply an observation of what is on the way to one’s destination.

Phoenix Nest

The phoenix is known for bursting into flame when its time has come before rising from the ashes. When you think about it, this is what a period basically is. The death of an egg gets super messy, usually in a way that scares those who don’t have periods. Eventually, it rights itself once again into a glorious form.

Fubb’s Parlor

Who the heck is Mrs. Fubb, and why would I want her parlor up in my lady bits? Also, I’m very possessive of my vagina and don’t want another woman’s name on it, whether she has a classy parlor or not. It’s my parlor. So come on in. That didn’t sound quite right, did it?

Netherlands

My best guess is this is a play on how we say “nether regions” or a similar phrase. However, let’s explore why someone might call a vagina “Netherlands” since there are many other places to choose from. Is it because it smells like delicious but funky cheese? Is it from the wind produced by queefs, similar to the force windmills produce? We may never know for sure.

Lady’s low toupee

I’m confused — oh! It’s because of the pubic hair. I got it. Let’s move on.

Mount Pleasant

Climbing mountains takes perseverance, knowledge, and care. All the qualities one must also possess when figuring out how to please a new vagina one comes into contact with. At least our slopes are pleasant and kill far fewer men than other mountains.

Burning Shame

Rude. The person who used this term probably couldn’t get any “burning shame” if they tried. So instead of improving their personality, they shamed all the vaginas. This is why incels shouldn’t get to name things.

Altar of Venus

Yes, our vaginas are goddesses. Worship them. This one is so much preferable to the previous term.

Cock trap

Honestly, this one checks out. It’s admittedly a little sexist to imply that women use their vaginas to ensnare helpless men drawn to sex like mice to cheese. I can’t help but find this term so weird but also fun to say.